24th November

Hi John

I should never trade on a Monday. But I did and started the day off ok with 4 pips. I set my one click to $5 and when I went into the first disastrous trade I knew realistically I wasn’t able to set the proper stop for $5 that I should be able to weather comfortably on a lower amount. So I lost half my money by getting out when I would usually have stayed in and weathered it and ended up in profit as it turned back in my direction. The trend is up today but the spikes against me were too big for a comfortable $5 trade. So I lost royally and I have put more money into my account to compensate. I’m 100% to blame for today’s fiasco.

Tomorrow I will go back to basics and start again. I have put the 1m chart away completely and not use it as an entry signal as I did today. I will regain my confidence levels and bid very low and make my regular pips and feel ok setting bigger stops especially when I know the trend is in the right direction. I got into a panic with my second trade and ended up putting a 1 = $10 the manual way and that cancelled my other trade and put me into a trade going the wrong way. That was a double whammy but I was in a panic and got out instead of letting it regain and come back again.

I feel pressured and I now know I am not ready for $8 a pip. I have to carry on for a while with a smaller amount to get my trading back on track. I’m not jumping ship; I am going back to the basics of money management. As my income grows so my pip size will increase. Once I have made consistent wins again I will increase it but for now I’m making one cock up after another. Taking a step back I can see that I’m not coping with the pressure I’m under and so I’ll have to go back and take smaller steps and it’s going to take me a while to regain my losses. But that’s past and tomorrow is a brand new trade. That is something I’ve learned.

This will take time and I have to take a deep breath and start again. Am I despondent? Yes a bit but I’m not put off and as in snakes and ladders, I hit a snake and went down to the bottom only to have to start again. I’ll get there. I also have to look at the bigger picture and gain some perspective. I will do it. It’s easy to make pips, as easy to loose them and as easy having to start again. If trading was that simple we’d all be traders.

I am annoyed with myself for going against my principles and what I’ve learned from money management by bidding higher than I have in my bank to put bigger stops on and not panic if it goes against me.

My goal is to resign end of the year and trade full time. Maybe I’m not good enough to go full time. Thank goodness I have any private clients that boost my income. The main job is going to decrease substantially as from January from a full time position to only 8 days a month. They will offer me a new contract but unless it’s financially beneficial to me I won’t take it on. This will give me more time to study the charts and get in at the right time and not jump on after the train has left the station. So many times I miss opportunities because I’m working and what I should be doing is either work and pack the charts away or pack my work away and concentrate on the charts. Doing both together doesn’t work.

Mostly I feel I’ve let you down, I feel I’ve let everyone down and that the book is being delayed but I guess this is one more chapter in the rise of a newbie trader, warts and all.

Leigh is off to Bombay tonight USA time and gets back 8am on Thursday. Our plan is to fly to EDI Thursday night. I’ll then be home till after Christmas and return here for a week or two. Iain flies to Oregon tonight so I’m home alone with my trading for a few days. I’ve packed VT away for today and won’t look again till tomorrow.

Chat to you tomorrow, have a good evening and hopefully when I speak to you in the morning I’ll have gained some pips. As I’m alone I will get up earlier and settle in studying VT before my day begins

Cheers - Desiree